Why Didn't I Send Edmund Instead?
by BollywoodRocks
Summary: The things you do for family! Susan and Peter go on a royal tour and engage in a battle of wits against roguish royal suitors determined on taking their honor away. Who will come out victorious? Often begs the question, "Why didn't I send Edmund instead?"
1. Chapter 1

AN- Hey guys I just saw Chronicle of Narnia: Prince Caspian again, and I was inspired to start writing again

**AN- **Hey guys I just saw Chronicle of Narnia: Prince Caspian again, and I was inspired to start writing again. I want to thank the numerous authors (there are many of them, so I'm not going to name them. If I reviewed one of your Narnia stories, you're one of them) who wrote wonderful stories for giving me inspiration to write this story.

In particular I'd like to give much thanks and appreciation to_**Spouse of Orestes**_, the author of Chaperoning Peter (if you have not read that story, I urge you to. It is truly a wonderful read) for being a catalyst for this story and for allowing me to use a few of their ideas to write this story.

I'd also like to mention that I haven't read the Narnia books in a while, so please forgive me for making up a few names and places. And without further ado, I present my first story in two years to you!!

**Approximate Pevensie ages:**

Peter: 20

Susan: 18

Edmund: 16

Lucy: 14

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or places created by C.S. Lewis; I'm simply borrowing them. _

**Why Didn't I Send Edmund Instead?**

Queen Susan the Gentle wanted nothing more than to stay at Cair Paravel. Edmund and Lucy had returned just a few days ago from a long visit to Archenland, and it had been a while since all the Pevensies were together.

But duty calls, as Peter had reminded her. As High King and Queen, Peter and Susan were expected to take tours of their kingdom every so often. This time they were going on a week long tour of the Seven Isles along with Mr. Tumnus

"We are leaving all of the Cair's affairs to you and Lucy," said Susan to Edmund. She had her hands on Edmund's cheeks as she looked up at him. It was slightly distressing to her that her little Ed was now taller than her. "Do us proud."

"I will, Su. You know that," Edmund replied. He was a little excited about the prospect of running things himself. "Besides, Oreius will be here. We can't get into any real trouble."

Susan looked over to the large centaur, who was in a discussion with the High King. "True," she admitted. "I just wish we didn't have to go or that you two could come with us."

"But somebody has to stay behind and make sure that somebody doesn't try to take over Narnia," piped in a cheerful voice. Lucy walked over to two of her older siblings. "Seeing that you and Peter won't be doing any real governing in the next week."

"We aren't going on a vacation, Lu," said Susan. "This is an important diplomatic visit."

"Well, important for you," giggled Lucy, "King Tertius has three, very eligible, conveniently single sons."

Susan groaned. Men had begun to court her seriously about two years ago; well they _tried_ to court her. To Susan's relief, Peter and Edmund were not allowing her to make much progress in that department. So far all the men that had arrived were worthless candidates. If they were nice to look at, they had nothing in their heads. If they intelligent, they were not powerful. If they were powerful, they were far too old.

Susan remembered the look on Peter and Edmund's face when the sixty year old Doornian king asked the High King permission to court his royal sister a year ago.

Edmund had wanted to take his sword and start poking the king with it. "It would be far too cruel for me to challenge the king to a duel. He looks like he's about to keel over," Edmund had said. Peter, on the other hand, had not said anything because he was far too horrified.

"What is it, Su?" a voice said, interrupting her daydream. Susan looked at her younger brother, who had a mischievous smile on his face. "Thinking about King Cebrius again?" Susan simply blushed.

"Queen Su, we must be going now," Peter announced as he walked over to his younger siblings. "We mustn't keep King Tertius waiting."

Susan nodded. She gave Edmund a tight hug. She opened her mouth to say something, but Edmund beat her to the punch. "Susan, don't say it."

"Say what?" she asked.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you were going to say something on the lines of be careful, don't do anything foolish while you two are gone, and to take care of Lucy because she looks up to me. Am I right?" Edmund asked, trying to keep a serious look on his face.

Susan was shocked. "Well, yes..." she said.

"Yeah don't bother," replied Edmund. He kissed her cheek and went on to talk to Peter as Susan turned to Lucy.

Susan suddenly felt like she was at the train station leaving for Professor Kirke's house again. "Be a big girl," Susan said, echoing her mother as she hugged Lucy.

"And be nice to the princes when you turn them down," Lucy replied. Susan simply kissed her sister's head. Then she nodded to her older brother, and they walked together to the awaiting carriage.

"Be careful! You know how roguish royal suitors can be!" yelled Edmund to them.

Peter smiled and draped an arm around his sister's shoulders. "Susan's safe with me, Ed. I'll watch out for her."

Edmund winked at Lucy. "I wasn't talking about Susan," he said with a wicked smile.

_A couple of hours later…_

Susan didn't mind the long ship ride. She loved looking at the ocean, but this carriage ride was torture. Sure, the carriage had enough room for her to stretch out her legs, but the sheer idleness was killing her.

"We should be there soon," Peter said, sensing her boredom.

"That's what you said two hours ago." Susan said.

"Well if you think about it in English time, it's only been a couple of minutes," said Peter.

"And that's supposed to be helpful, how?" Susan snapped.

"Actually, your Majesty, High King Peter is actually telling the truth this time," said Tumnus. "We should be there in just a few minutes."

"You see?" Peter asked. Susan began mumbling something inaudible about how she wished it was not socially unacceptable to shoot one's brother. "What was that?" Peter asked. Susan's death stare shut him up.

"Cheer up, your Majesty, King Tertius of Brenn has three lovely daughters who shall keep you company," said Tumnus.

Peter immediately sat up. "Three _d...dau…daughters_? You mean as in _princesses_?" he asked, appalled. "I thought King Tertius had three sons!"

"Three sons and three daughters," said Susan, smirking.

"You could have mentioned this to me earlier!" Peter exclaimed.

"It's not my fault! I think it's rather shameful that you don't keep track of the royals who have pledged their loyalty to you," admonished Susan.

"That's not relevant at this moment," said Peter, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment. He hated when Susan was right. "If I had known, I would've…"

"Sent Edmund instead?" asked Susan, knowingly. "Really Peter, you didn't have this much trouble with the female species back in Finchley."

"That female species, Su, were not after my throne!" Peter exclaimed. "Now this current species…"

"You mean princesses?" asked Tumnus, a little confused. He often became bewildered when his royalty began talking about their life back in Spare Oom and War Drobe.

"Yes, Mr. Tumnus, princesses, those conniving, giggling, utterly terrifying…" Peter started.

"Let's not forget, Peter, that your sisters are part of that species. Do you think of us as conniving?" Susan asked, slightly offended.

"Don't be silly, Susan, you are a _queen_. Those princesses wish they could be like you," said Peter. Then he thought for a moment and said, "by entrapping me into a marriage."

"Why that's absurd, Peter!" Susan exclaimed. She couldn't say any more because she heard a page announce that High King Peter the Magnificent and Queen Susan the Gentle had arrived at King Tertius' castle. Peter narrowed his eyes at her before exiting the carriage. He held out his hand for her. She took a deep breath and put her most queenly smile before accepting her brother's hand. She looked up at the Brennian castle. It was made with light grey stone, and in Susan's opinion it looked nice enough.

Their welcome, however, was another thing all together. It looked like a carnival of sorts. The royal musicians were playing tunes, and confetti was flying from everywhere. A man, in what looked like his early fifties, stepped forward. He was dressed in silk and fur from head to toe. "This must be King Tertius," thought Susan.

She was right. The king bowed to Peter, who bowed back. "It is an honor, High King, for us to host you in our humble home," he said. He turned to look at Susan and took her hand. He kissed it and said, "And you, lovely Queen Susan the Gentle. It is our good fortune to have the most beautiful woman in all Narnia here with us."

Internally Susan was gagging, but she kept the fake smile plastered on her face. "No, dear king, it is our pleasure to be here."

"Please allow me to introduce my family," the king said. A man in his late twenties stepped forward. Susan was not one to be extremely vain about her beauty, but she couldn't help but pity the young man that stepped up. He was extremely short, somewhat cross-eyed looking, and oily hair, and the look on his face made it appear that he had never seen a girl before. "This is my eldest son, Crown Prince Adonis." Susan couldn't help but smirk at the irony. Prince Adonis stepped forward and kissed her hand, but he unfortunately left a puddle of saliva on her hand.

"And this is my son, Prince Dominic." A man in his early twenties appeared before Susan. With red hair, green eyes, and a flawless complexion, Prince Dominic was one of the most handsome men Susan had ever seen, but the look he was giving her made her extremely uncomfortable and caused her to grip onto Peter a little more tightly. He was looking at her like a mouse looks at cheese. No, that wasn't quite right. He was looking at her the way a very hungry tiger looks at a particularly luscious gazelle. He stepped forward, bowed to Peter, and took her hand. His kiss wasn't slobbery like Adonis' had, but it was much too long.

"And this is the youngest of my sons, Prince Burke," and young boy about Edmund's age stepped forward. The minute she laid eyes on Burke, she knew that he had _nothing_ in common with Edmund. While Edmund was tall, slender, and muscular, Burke was average height and extremely skinny. And while Edmund was handsome (he had made quite a few ladies swoon) and looked mature for his age (well, he was really. His knack for strategy had reached all ears in Narnia), Burke looked like a little lost boy. Susan relaxed a little bit and loosened her grip on Peter's arm, when Burke came to kiss her hand.

"Now please meet my daughters," said King Tertius, proudly. One look at them, Susan concluded she had never seen sillier girls in her life. They were giggling and fumbling with their handkerchiefs. She turned to look at her brother. The look on his face indicated that it was taking all his self-restraint to keep himself from running away screaming. This time it was Peter's turn to grip on tighter to his sister. Susan winked at Mr. Tumnus, whose eyes indicated he was laughing on the inside.

"This is Princess Daphne." A woman of about thirty approached Peter. She had frizzy hair and a large mole on her chin. She was also, rather large and intimidating. Susan felt sorry for her, though. If a woman was unmarried by thirty, her chances of ever getting married were slim. Peter took her hand to kiss it. Well actually, he kissed the air above her hand. He gave the princess a fake smile, and she gave him a seductive wink.

"And this is Princess Gwyneth," and a girl about Susan's age came forward. She looked nothing like her older sister. She had a nice body. By the looks over her dress, Susan realized that the princess didn't mind showing it off. The dress's tight sash showed off Princess Gwyneth's rather big bust. She looked at Peter, the same way her brother, Dominic, looked at Susan moments ago. She walked up to Peter, but she didn't even give him a chance to take her hand. She planted a kiss on each of Peter's cheeks. "Call me Gwyn, your Majesty," she purred to him. Peter gave a curt nod which seemed to satisfy her. She walked back to stand next to Daphne without even acknowledging Susan, which seemed to satisfy Susan.

"And of course my youngest, Princess Shanaya," said the king. A young girl around Lucy's age stepped out from behind her father. For a moment, Susan was relieved because she thought that this one would leave Peter alone. Boy was she wrong. Shanaya approached Peter just as seductively as her sisters had. She allowed Peter to kiss her hand and let out a flirty laugh. Susan heard Mr. Tumnus emit a soft groan.

"Your Majesties look tired. Come, we shall show you to your rooms," said King Tertius.

"Thank you, my sister and I greatly appreciate it," said Peter. He was about to offer his arm to Susan, but he was too late.

"Queen Susan, may I have to honor of escorting you to your chambers?" asked Prince Dominic.

Susan was trapped. She couldn't say no, but she also couldn't ignore the lusty look Dominic was giving her or the death stare from Peter. "Of course Prince Dominic. That would be lovely," she said accepting his arm. "I'm so sorry," she mouthed to her brother, who was stuck escorting Princess Gwyneth.

_An hour later…_

Susan was putting the finishing touches on her outfit. She was wearing a deep violet gown with a full skirt and ribbon straps. She wore her hair loose. She heard a knock the door. She let Peter in.

"Wow, Su, you look gorgeous," he said. He was looking quite handsome in his navy and gold formal ensemble.

"Thank you, but I wish you hadn't said that," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"I was hoping to look ugly, so that no prince would be the least bit attracted to me," she said.

"Are we taking about any princes in particular?" Peter asked. "It doesn't really matter though," he said as he kissed her forehead; "you can't _not_ look beautiful."

Susan smiled. "Might I ask what exactly you are doing here anyway?" she asked.

Peter's smile vanished. "I'm going to escort you before anybody else asks. I don't want that Dominic to have his paws on you," Susan tried to cough away her laugh. "What?" he demanded.

"That's very gallant of you, Peter, but you can't lie to me. You're here so that you don't have to escort one of those silly princesses," Susan said, "isn't that right?"

"No, I'm sticking with my original story," said Peter. Susan knew she was fighting a losing battle, but she was secretly glad that Peter was her escort. She took his arm, and they walked together toward the dining hall.

Dinner was rather uneventful unless you count one-sided flirting. To both Susan and Peter's despair, they were seated rather far away from each other. Susan found herself surrounded by the three princes and other unmarried male dignitaries, while Peter found himself surrounded by the three princesses. Susan quickly found out that Prince Adonis and Prince Dominic were as stupid as they looked. She could swear that she saw Dominic admiring himself in his spoon at one point. She attempted to converse with Tumnus, who was seated somewhat close to her, but the princes kept disturbing those attempts. She frequently turned to see how her brother was doing. She winced when she saw that he was trying as hard as he could to not use his fork to take him out of his misery. All the conversations he participated in involved complimenting the three princesses on their attire.

"And now the dancing will begin!" King Tertius announced. The king had not even finished his sentence, when Peter jumped up and claimed his sister as his dance partner.

"That was not particularly kingly of you, Peter," Susan admonished quietly as Peter led her to the dance floor.

"I don't care," replied her brother, clenching his teeth. "Remind me, why you didn't bring Edmund instead of me?"

"Because you are the High King, and you have to visit the Seven Isles," said his exasperated sister. Peter grimly nodded, and the pair opened the ball with a waltz.

"You're dancing with me for the entire ball," he whispered to her.

"Peter, that's not at all practical," she told him. "And I just don't understand something."

"What?"

"You fearlessly fought the White Witch, but you can't put up with three giggling princesses for one night?" she asked him with a twinkle in her eye. Peter didn't have a chance to respond. The first song was done, and Prince Dominic approached them. "Oh Aslan," Susan said so that Peter could only hear. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Prince Adonis came to her first.

"May I have this dance?" he said, not quite looking at her.

Susan smiled at him. "Yes of course," she said kindly. She broke away from Peter, or at least she tried to. Peter was still holding onto her tightly. "Let go," she said softly, but firmly. Peter reluctantly let go. He had barely moved away from Adonis and Susan when Princess Daphne pounced on him for the next dance. He apologized profusely but explained that he was tired and needed a drink.

"Of course," she said, "but you must promise me the next dance." Peter assured her he would and fled only to run into Princess Gwyneth, who promptly pinned him against a wall.

"Our sisters have forced you to elude me all night, but now I have you all to myself," she purred.

"Well, I'm sorry, Princess Gwyneth…" Peter started to say.

"Gwyn," she corrected him.

"Princess Gwyn, of course. My apologies, but I have already promised your elder sister the next dance and my sister the one after that," he sputtered out.

"I'm sure they will understand," she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

"Gwyn, what are you _doing?_" a voice screeched. Gwyneth released her hold on Peter. Princess Shanaya did not look too pleased.

Peter took this opportunity to escape only to be caught again by Princess Daphne because the new song had begun. Things could have not been worse for the poor High King. Daphne was not the epitome of grace. In fact, if it had not been for Peter holding her up, he was sure she would have fallen down five times within the first minute. On top of that, Susan was dancing with Prince Dominic, whose hand was dangerously close to Susan's bottom. As soon as the music stopped, Peter approached Dominic. "Excuse me, Prince Dominic, might I have my sister back?" he said with a touch of menace in his voice. Prince Dominic had no choice but to agree, but he left yet another prolonged kiss on Susan's hand. Both Susan and Peter were relieved to be back with each other. They danced one dance together. Then, Susan danced a minuet with Mr. Tumnus (because fauns are simply the best at minuets). Then, Susan and Peter danced once more and then together they approached King Tertius.

"Dear King Tertius, please forgive us, but we are both extremely tired and wish to retire," Susan said.

King Tertius looked bewildered for a moment. "But we've only just begun!" he said.

"Yes and for that we sincerely apologize, but we have both traveled quite a bit today," Peter explained, attempting to mask the desperation in his voice.

"I understand, of course, but you are leaving in the morning, and who knows when you'll return. And for that reason, please stay for a few more dances," pleaded the king.

"We really cannot, dear King Tertius," said Susan.

"Then I insist you stay here in Brenn for a few more days," said King Tertius.

Susan was getting very frustrated. In one last attempt, she placed her hand on her head. "Oh dear, Peter, I believe I'm getting one of my headaches again," she whispered to her brother. It was loud enough so that the king could hear.

The king looked worried. He couldn't afford to have the queen fall ill while staying with him. He would be accused of plotting against her! "On second thought, your Majesties, an early retirement sounds like a marvelous idea! I believe we should all retire!" He announced that the ball was over. Unfortunately he also insisted that the Princes Adonis and Dominic escort her Majesty to her chambers.

As Susan readied herself for bed, she couldn't help but congratulate herself for a job well done that night. However, what Susan didn't know at that moment, was that her night was far from over…

**AN- **This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but I got this far and realized that the story was far too long to be a one-shot, so I've decided to make it into a chaptered story. It will have two possibly three chapters. Please review and tell me what you think so far!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN-** I want to thank everybody who reviewed this story. I really appreciate it! Also I forgot to mention this earlier, but this story is both book-verse and movie-verse. I hope that's not a turn-off to anyone!

**Why Didn't I Send Edmund Instead?**

**Chapter 2**

There was a knock at the door. Susan was about to open the door when suddenly a horrible thought struck her. "_What if it's Prince Dominic?"_ Susan wasn't taking any chances. "Who's there?" she called out.

"Who else would it be?" a familiar voice called back. "Were you expecting somebody else? Because if you were, I'd like to know about it!"

Susan rolled her eyes and opened the door. Peter was standing at the door trying to look angry. "Of course I wasn't _expecting_ anyone, but I'm not taking any chances," she explained.

Peter closed the door behind him. "Good, so we're on the same page," he said.

"What are you doing here anyway, Peter?" Susan asked.

"Can I stay in here tonight?" he asked.

Susan was shocked. "No!" she said. "We have a long journey tomorrow, and I need to be well rested. I can't deal with your snoring and tossing and turning all night." She led her brother to the door. "Good night!"

"Su, please…" Susan couldn't believe her twenty-year-old brother had a puppy dog look on his face.

"I don't even understand why you'd want to sleep in my room anyway. I'm sure your room is much more comfortable," she said.

"It's not that…" Peter started to say, his face reddening. "It's just that while we were dancing, Princess Daphne…well she told me some rather scandalous things."

Susan was intrigued. "Like what?" Peter shook his head indicating a refusal to respond. "If I'm going to help you, I need to know why."

Peter sighed. "Fine, she told me she was planning on coming into my room tonight and making sweet love to me," he said. Susan burst out laughing and couldn't stop. "It's not funny!" he insisted.

"Yes it is," she said. "It's not like she can actually do anything. King Tertius is a man who is respected throughout Narnia. I do not believe he would encourage his children to break into their guest's chambers and 'make sweet love' to them!"

"I don't care! I'm not taking any chances. I doubt that Princess Gwyneth has honorable intentions as well," he said. "So please let me sleep here tonight!"

At this point, Susan was too tired to argue. "Fine," she said as she headed towards the door.

Peter stopped her. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"To your room," she replied, "where _I'm _going to sleep. Like I said, I can't deal with your snoring and tossing and turning, and I need a full night's sleep. And I'm also going to prove to you that no one is trying to take away your honor."

"Susan, I promise not to snore," Peter pleaded.

"That's sweet, Peter, but don't make promises you can't keep," Susan said. "Besides, if someone decides to break into my room tonight, what'll they think if they see you in here?" She patted his cheek with her hand.

"Who is planning on breaking into your room tonight?" Peter demanded. Susan shrugged and walked out the door, closing it behind her. She then navigated through the pitch darkness of the hallway.

Susan entered what was supposed to be Peter's room. She was too exhausted to look around the room properly, so she didn't notice the dark shadow down the hall…

She quickly went under the sheets and went to sleep. Unfortunately for Susan, she was not a heavy sleeper. She woke up a few minutes later to a door opening. Susan began to panic when she realized she had been foolish enough to leave the door unlocked. She hid herself in her sheets more by making it into a cocoon of sorts. She wanted nothing more than to scream, but she knew no one would hear her. _"Damn it, for once Peter was right. I should have stayed with him," _she thought.

"King Peter, I came as I promised," she heard a voice say. Susan remembered her brother telling her about Princess Daphne's plans. What she didn't expect was for the princess to be stupid enough to follow through with them. Now, Susan was at a loss of what to do. She didn't want to reveal herself just yet. If Princess Daphne was capable of breaking into Peter's room at night, she shuddered to think what Daphne's brothers could do.

"Please show yourself, dear King," Daphne purred. Susan could feel the princess stroking the sheets, which made Susan feel very uncomfortable. She dug herself in her cocoon even further. It didn't matter because Daphne ripped the sheets off Susan slightly. It was enough to reveal a bit of her womanly body. Daphne let out a quiet shriek of "What are _you_ doing here??" She threw the sheets back on Susan completely, masking her as if she was some kind of hideous monster. "This is the High King's room!"

"Which begs the question: what are you doing here?" Susan asked angrily. She threw the sheets off herself and got out of the bed to stare down the princess.

The princess shrank back in terror. "Forgive me for speaking to you thus, your Majesty. I thought you were one of my sisters," she said quietly.

Susan was now very grouchy; everybody back at Cair Paravel knew to _never_ wake up the queen unless it was life threatening. This event had certainly not been life threatening. "I don't care who or what you thought I was, but if don't vanish right now, you'll wish you were never born," Susan said, menacingly. Susan couldn't recall an event where she was angrier. Princess Daphne nodded and fled. Susan made sure to lock the door behind her.

Susan was rather proud of the fact that she spoke with such malice. _"Queen Susan the Gentle, indeed," _she thought happily before she fell back asleep on the bed.

An hour or two after the confrontation with Daphne, a sinister figure crept into the room through a small window. Unfortunately for the figure, the window let out a loud creakwhen it tried to open it. The creaking window woke up Susan, who was mentally cursing whoever dared to wake her up again to the deepest pit in Hades. This time she decided to fight the person head on. She growled, "If you're one of King Tertius's offspring, you best go back out the way you came in!" Alas, Susan's growl made her sound like a man.

The figure stepped into the ray of light that the moon had created through the window. Susan turned to see that it was Princess Shanaya wearing a thin nightgown that barely covered the essential body parts. "Don't be like that, High King Peter. Please I implore you!" the princess tried to say in her most seductive voice, which actually sounded more like a screech. Susan rose from her bed, but she continued to stay in the darkness of the room. Shanaya took this as a good sign. "I promise you," she continued screeching to Susan's utter dismay, "my body is pure. Don't be swept up in the lies my sisters tell you. They cannot give you the guarantees I can."

Hearing this, Susan's heart broke a little bit. Her anger vanished. Susan couldn't honestly believe that this little girl came on her own accord; she was only Lucy's age after all. Susan stepped out of the shadows to face a frightened looking Shanaya. "Shanaya, you shouldn't be here," she admonished kindly.

"Neither should you," the little girl snapped.

Susan sighed. "Listen Shanaya," she said, "I want you to leave now. If you do what I ask, I will not tell anybody about what transpired in this room."

Shanaya let out a sigh of relief. "Okay," she said. She walked toward the window from which she entered.

"And Shanaya I would like you to promise me something," Susan said.

"What, Queen Susan?" Shanaya asked.

"What your sisters and you are doing this night is not correct. Your sisters are grown women, so I cannot force them to abide by what I say, but I would like you to promise me that you will never break into another male guest's room," Susan said, choosing her words carefully.

"Yes, of course, my queen," she said gratefully. Susan watched her slip out of the window, astonished that the girl could even fit through such a small window.

"That does it," said Susan. "The most flighty sister has yet to arrive, and I don't want to be here when she does. I knew I should have brought Edmund instead!" She decided to take up her older brother on his promise. Thankful that she had remembered to keep the key to the other room with her, she headed towards the door of the room. Just as she was about to exit, an idea struck her. At this point, Susan was beginning to think that King Tertius had, in fact, set up her brother. Nevertheless, he was innocent until proven guilty. She put a few pillows in the middle of the bed and covered them to make it look like someone was actually sleeping there. Satisfied by her work, Susan departed the jinxed room and headed to the other one for the peaceful sleep she had earned.

If you think Peter had had a peaceful night so far, you would be wrong. Not soon after Susan left, Peter went to sleep in his usual cave of sheets only to be awoken by someone whispering into his ear, "Here I am, my gentle queen, your midnight lover." Peter had been so surprised that he turned and fell off the bed along with his cave of sheets with a thud. As soon as he managed to get a majority of the sheets off himself, Peter grabbed Rhindon, which had been propped up next to the bed. He was about to slice down his midnight attacker, when he realized who it was. It was a flustered Prince Dominc; Peter dropped Rhindon on the floor.

"High King Peter," he said he jumped off the bed. He bowed deeply. "Forgive me for intruding. I…ah…simply got lost as I was heading to the kitchens for a snack. The castle is so dark at night; I must've taken a wrong turn." He started heading towards the door.

"Hold it right there," demanded the High King. "Humor me. Explain how it is that you _conveniently _ended up in the bedchamber of the most powerful woman in Narnia, who is also, I should mention, the most eligible and beautiful woman in the kingdom."

"Are you trying to imply something, sir?" the prince demanded. Well, he tried to sound offended, but he ended up sounding even guiltier.

"You have five seconds to disappear from my sight, or Rhindon will be in your heart. Do you understand?" Peter roared. Dominic fled as fast as he could from the room. "I knew I should have sent Edmund instead!" he exclaimed, frustrated. He went back to sleep.

A few hours later, another dark figure entered the room. It stared at the High King and sighed with frustration. It attempted to scoot the king, who was sleeping in the middle of the bed, over to one side.

"Whaa?" the king asked sleepily. He had woken up when he felt hands on him. He beheld a dark figure hovering over him. He grabbed one of the figure's wrists, and he felt the figure wince in pain.

"Peter, let go of me!" screeched the figure.

Peter was confused. "Susan?" he asked.

"Yes, you fool, it's me!" she exclaimed. "Now move over!"

"But I thought you said that you didn't want to have to put up with my snoring?" he asked as he moved over.

"Yes, well I had a choice between your snoring and being manhandled by princesses," she explained as she got into the bed. "I decided you were the lesser of the two evils."

"Manhandled by princesses?" Peter asked interested.

"Let's just say you were right about those princesses. They _didn't _have honorable intentions," she replied. "Good night." Peter didn't feel like angering Susan further by asking questions, and soon both brother and sister were fast asleep.

They were so deep in sleep that they didn't hear the bathroom door squeak open an hour later. A shadowy body came up to Susan and began to stroke her face.

Susan was awoken by a stubby hand petting her face. She fluttered her eyes to see a dark outline. Even though she couldn't see a face, she knew by the shape that it was Prince Adonis. Shanaya had exhausted all of Susan's kind feelings. This time, she was going to let Peter handle this. "Peter!" she shrieked. Peter woke up immediately and grabbed Rhindon.

"Who's there?" he demanded. "Show yourself!" Prince Adonis, guiltily, stepped into the ray of moonlight. "Prince Adonis?" he asked surprised. The prince nodded miserably.

"How did you get in here?" Susan asked. "The door was locked, and you can't fit through any of the windows!"

"I…well I…" Adonis started saying, embarrassed.

"Yes?" Peter said angrily. "The sooner you answer the better chance you have of not dying!"

Prince Adonis looked terrified. Susan had to admit, her teddy bear of an older brother, was quite frightening when he was furious. "Well…I was waiting in the…" Prince Adonis said with his cheeks flushed.

"Yes?" Peter asked.

"The bathtub," the prince hiccupped out. Susan was shocked. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or to be furious.

Peter took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell the same thing to you that I told your brother not long ago," he said trying to restrain himself from lunging at the crown prince. "You have five seconds to be out of here, or I will be forced to kill you." Crown Prince Adonis didn't need any further prodding; he was out of the room in a heartbeat.

"So I take it that you were manhandled as well?" Susan asked her brother, trying to sound as serious as she could.

Peter ignored her. He got out of the bed. "Get out of the bed, Susan," he said. Susan did as she was told. "You're going to help me inspect every centimeter of this room." For the next hour, the pair searched the entire room (including the bathroom) in silence. When they were both sufficed, they went back to sleep until dawn.

What they didn't know was that at the crack of dawn, a woman with a seductive smile and a determined look on her face, slipped into High King Peter's room…

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO DEFLOWER MY DAUGHTER!!" roared an angry King Tertius that morning. He ordered his guards to break down the door of the room. "YOU MAY BE THE HIGH KING BUT YOU SHALL TREAT MY FAMILY WITH RESPECT!" he ranted on as he entered the room. There he found a pouting Princess Gwyneth, covered only by the bed sheets.

"Father…" she tried to say.

"Don't interrupt me!" he demanded of his daughter.

"But ..." she tried to explain.

"CEASE SPEAKING!" he roared. Gwyneth immediately shut up. "Where is he? I demand that you, High King Peter, marry my daughter at once!" he shouted. When Peter failed to appear before him, he demanded that his daughter tell him where the king was.

She removed the sheet covers to reveal the ensemble of pillows that Susan had created. "He was never here!" she wailed.

King Tertius turned to Mr. Tumnus, who had witnessed the entire scene. "Where is the king?" he demanded.

Tumnus smiled. "That is not really your concern, your Majesty," he said with evil sweetness. "What is your concern, though, is that you conspired against his Majesty, High King Peter, and that, King Tertius, is the highest treason that one can commit." Then Tumnus turned to walk towards the dining hall leaving the flabbergasted king and his foolish, nude daughter behind.

_A couple of days later…_

Lucy almost flipped off Peter's bed from laughing so hard. "He was hiding in the _bathtub_?" she shrieked.

"Yes, isn't that the most absurd thing you've ever heard?" Peter asked her.

"No, actually, your punishment to King Tertius was one of the most absurd things I've ever heard," Lucy giggled. The king had not been charged with treason, like he had expected. Peter and Susan both did not want to have to deal with such a huge, tiring trial. Instead, Peter had ordered King Tertius to send a letter to every other king in Narnia explaining what he had done. The letter also included a warning for all the royal families to not try trick High King Peter or his siblings into a marriage because they would not be so forgiving the next time.

"What's so funny?" Susan demanded as she walked into Peter's room.

"Peter was telling me about your trip to Brenn," Lucy said.

"Yes that was an interesting experience," Susan said. "We were so tempted to cancel our tour and come home."

"But at least, the rest of the royal families on our tour knew to behave themselves," Peter added,

"All thanks to King Tertius's letter, no doubt," a voice at the door said. The three Pevensies turned to see Edmund leaning on the doorway.

"I'm sure you're right," Susan said. She scooted over to make room for Edmund on the bed.

"But I have learned one thing from this trip," Peter said.

"What is that?" Lucy asked, curiously.

"Edmund is going on all our diplomatic missions from now on," Peter and Susan said together.

**AN- **Well, I sincerely hope you enjoyed that!! I hope it was as fun to read as it was to write. Please if you enjoyed it (or if you didn't), leave a review. I'd be happy even with one that said, "Hey this didn't completely suck!" Also, I'd like to mention that the part where Susan wonders what the princes(ses) would think if they found Peter and her in the bed together was not an incestuous allusion. She was just wondering what they would think if they found a man sleeping next to her or a woman sleeping next to Peter. I just wanted to clear that up.


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